Day Four - acabado

Worst night so far. Easily. Night 3 kept me at the Holiday Inn, St. Joseph, MO. Otherwise comfortable, there’s a train. I dunno? Hourly? maybe? it’d blow it’s horn and wake me from my slumber. ‘Blow’ will figure in later.

I had a dickens of a time falling asleep last night. About 2:30am - near as I can figure - I ended up falling asleep. When my alarm sounded at 6:35am I was beyond frustrated. I lay in bed and blinked a lot wishing for more time.

Within an hour, I’d SSS’d, and hit up Sonic for a Toaster-sandwhich thing. Ham, layered, with egg and cheese. Was VERY GOOD, IMO. Something I could make myself, and perhaps do a better job by adding bacon (there’s a shock - a fat guy wanting BACON on something eh?) and a few shots of Trader Joe’s brand Pepper sauce.

You’ve got to blame it on something. Blame it on the Rain. Lots of rain.

The whole trip was a mess with spraying water and rain. Driving was horrible. I’m tellin’ ya right here and now I saw more crappy driving in MO than any of the previous 2000? miles. SHOW me state? How about SHOW ME a f’ing TURN SIGNLE eh? How about SHOW ME some consideration by moving BACK over to the right lane? How about SHOW ME you refrain from being a jerk by NOT speeding up, passing me, and cutting me off JUST to exit? How about LET ME MERGE? Show Me state…hrm…if I could substitute TWO letters in that slogan with the letters B and L, it’d accurately reflect how I feel about my stay there.

Saint Louis. Hereby named America’s WORST CITY. I’m tellin’ ya - if STL is the crown Jewel of MO, it must be one of the paper burger-king crowns, because the city sucks. Heros of the city? I drove down Mark McGuire Parkway. I felt my junk shrinkin’ and Roid Rage all at the same time. Traffic lights? Expect to wait 10 minutes for a Red to turn green, then only 2 minutes until back to red. Cobble stone down by the Arch? PRETTY!!! But HORRIBLE. Look, if I wanted to live in 1880, I’d…well…I guess I’d be sorta out of luck. Still - HOLY CRAP STL People…FIX THOSE STREETS. The stones varied in height by as much as half a foot, I’d guess. SCRAPE was the word of the day. My Poor Car. The holes and dips were so bad I started to get sea-sick. Literally. I could show you a pic of the street, but you’d not pick up on how nasty it was. Here’s a dash-cam shot:

AND…who the Frak builds a Fraking BALL PARK right down town (except Seattle and a bunch of other places)???

The ONLY redeeming quality of St Louis - White Castle.

I had a Regular, a Cheese, and a bacon w/ Onion Rings and a large diet coke w/o ice.

A lot more rainy, nasty driving got me to tonite’s bed - Metropolis, IL. If I visit the Superman Statue, I’ll post-pics. Otherwise, I’m exhausted and will go to bed now.

Again, thanks for reading!
Darin

Edit -

I headed into town to view the Superman Statue -

After snapping that pic, I walked into a Superman Store - they sold superman stuff - go figure. Prices were outrageous, imo. More outrageous was the conversation I found myself in with some of the staff.

After I walked in, I heard somebody obviously on the phone telling somebody “You kant goe too jayl for no late payments on a bill!” “Taik them too small klaims kort!”

I walked up and said (what I THOUGHT was obviously tongue in cheek) “Well..if you need a lawyer…”

“Hay! Heers a lawyur rite heer!” he said to the person on the phone. A by-stander said “Can she (person on phone I guessed) go to jail for over-drawing their bank?”

Putting on my best Perry Mason face I said “Indebtedness can’t put somebody in jail - unless it’s child support - as far as I know.”

(back to the person on the phone) “Thair’s a lawyur rite heer he says yoo cant go to jay-ell for no debts but child support!”

Wow. He’s giving her legal advice based on some guy in his superman store!

Down the street I found a local bar - Willy-Jak’s.

typical Bar food - I had Buffalo strips and deep-fried breaded jalapeño and onion strips.

The beer looks pretty watery, doesn’t it? Let me tell you why I had that beer.

After ordering, I walked up to the bar and asked for a “Hefe-vite-zen” (written that way, cuz that’s how I said it).

The very cute, perky bar tender looked at me with the cutest WTH? face I’ve seen on a young lady in some time.

“Heff-a-WHITE-zen?” I tried again, in Illinoiseze.

“Uh…” She said, with her head tilted sideways a bit.

“Forget it - what do you drink with the buffalo strips?” I asked. “What’s your favourite?”

She straightened her head and said “Miller Lite!” as if I should have known.

“That’ll do, love.” I said.

After I ate a waitress, a bit older, but just as cute and southern, walked by.

“Hey hon, I was asking the bartender about a hefeweizen (the waitress’ face went blank, so I paused..)…..and she gave me that same look…” I smiled.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It’s a very well known, so I thought, German wheat beer.”

“Yeah…ya know? We’re VERY close to Kentucky!” she quipped with a smile. I giggled back at her, then headed out.

If it weren’t for the southern chicks, the south wouldn’t have much in the way of entertainment, I fear. hehe

- darin