06
Internet Kung Fu
Grasshopper, Your Kung Fu is weak.
As you wander aimlessly thru the sacred halls of DeeBate you must learn the Ancient Chinese Secret.
You will bravely tread upon the path of enlightenment. Your reward will be to influence others and perhaps, if your Kung Fu becomes strong, you will have reputation beyond repute. You will be a DeeBater. A brain among the brawn.
But, long before you are to receive the branding of an initiate of the deepest DeeBate you must earn your chop. Sticks and stones may well break bones, but the technique of Kutn Paste will bring you well within the realm of respect.
The DeeBate has changed since the time of Father Tzu. His son, Sun Tzu, wrote well upon the art of war. But, he was not the sharpest tool in the DeeBate shed. Instead we must turn to the writings of Sun Tzu’s brother, on the art of cutting.
“When your enemy posts things that demand combat you must take their words and thoughts and slice away the fat to show the gristle. You slice into the Stock, and Market their weakness to the world. This is called DhaoJonz.”
What Sun Tzu’s sharpest brother means grasshopper, is that you must quote your enemy. And then you bravely dash within the quote. You slice it into each point and separate it so the whole thought is now UNWhole and only Some can do this with an edge. Quote his post, and after each point, destroy it alone and move to the next. His thought will be fragmented and devoured by each immediate counter within his own quotebox. In this manner grasshopper, you will dominate and suborn his thought.
“When your enemy posts a question in a disrespectful manner, the technique is called Sahr Kazm. To counter Sahr Kazm you may bring forth a buffoonish wit then present your weapon, called Fakks, and a mocking tone. As they read, then see the truth of your post, they will wail and lament the day they crossed you. You will have run over those who crossed you with a superior wit. This is the Holee Rohler technique.”
What Sun Tzu’s sharpest brother means grasshopper, is that if your enemy begins mocking you, you must bring to bear a humorous tone combined with a razor sharp fact which renders mockery irrelevant. Those with intelligence will regard you as a spear of light and will not lightly cross you again.
The last lesson for today grasshopper will need no translation. I will simply allow this ultimate of the DeeBators to place wisdom in your path that you may walk into it. By the way grasshopper the leader of this style is not called master. A Master Baiter is a fisherman.
“Finally your opponent will lose thier composure. They will rant and rave and foam at the mouth like a beer keg used as a kicking block. They will begin to repeat the same lies spread over and over. They will try to top your defenses with spinning attacks that lead nowhere and are as effective as a dull knife. Here is where your training in the never needs sharpening area of wit and fact will allow you to dominate them for all time. This is the ancient chinese secret, and is called, Kaal Gone — I am your humble servant second son of Father Tzu, brother to the first son, Sun Tzu, I am Ghin Tzu”